Tijna n me went in Camden town the other day. We have our future read in tarot cards.
That was quite an interesting experience. The gipsy said I was in a middle of a healing process and had 6 more months to completely recover but I was doing everything just right. She said when I get rid of all the old, unhealthy beliefs, thoughts i can be reborn - I no longer a princess, but the queen. I ought to allow myself to do what I want regardless of what the other people are thinking. In about one year time I`ll meet someone - someone important, a partner who by challenging me is going to help me to recover and develop. Artistic and creative route is definitely a right one for me. She asked me about acting and music - playing a musical instrument would help me too. I`m thinking - a guitar.
She also seen my humming birds - she said they were picking my shoulder - I found it amazing.
In my past life, in 18th century I was a noble man who wasted his life - he did drugs, played cards, lived only relying on his looks and died young. Beginning of the 20th century I was a nurse in a military hospital, I devoted my life caring for wounded soldiers during the war. During my first life I was a lord`s first child considered to inherit everything but because I was a sickly child I`d never been able to come to my full power. Who cared for me - my sister, she was my servant, falconer.
In her second life Tijna was - a lesbian! Living in 1930s she was a tall confident woman who didn`t give a damn about what other people think - and she was very intimidating for men. She wore black tuxedo and smoked cigares - clearly, Tijna has a lot of fun! That`s why, to keep the balance, she has to suffer now and doesn`t have luck with men. Within one to two years she should meet someone and her studies will be fine too. After she finishes her PhD "the door will be open" and she could do whatever she wants really - she`ll succeed.
Luckily our car ma debts are almost paid, we are learning from our mistakes - it`s all over :) or so the fortune teller said and I believe her.



Tijna wanted to go to a palm reader too - he was very thin, dressed in traditional Hindu clothes, with a small bird head and warm dry hands , unlike mine sweaty. He touched and patted and creased my palms and pulled my fingers and run his extremely long nails along the lines on my hand.
I shouldn`t ever smoke and loose to much weight. I am too gullible and give out too much of myself - some people can use it against me. I will be teaching one day and be in charge of others. One day I`ll be successful if I put my mind in it; I`ll be busy having two carriers, definitely creative ones. I`m going to travel a lot. My soul mate is somewhere around, however I`m not going to stay with him. The one I`m going to start a family I meet in my thirties - 30-32. I`ll have two children, may be twins, a boy and a girl. He also asked me if i danced and have a good sense of rhythm.
Tijna will meet HIM within a year and she`ll have three children. She`ll have a great career, her own business and be in charge of other people. She`ll have money and travel a lot.
Very interesting indeed. I believe that everything is going to be just fine. I felt very positive afterwards -like I finally turned a page and started a new chapter.

Decided - he`s Sam, Sammy!

I`ve got a fish! Siamese Fighting Fish.
I was really worried if he would survive the transportation coz it`s still cold outside and it took almost one hour to get home. But luckily he`s fine and swimming in the tank happily. I mean I don`t really know if he`s happy or no, does a fish has emotions?
I decided to get a fish coz I`m -unfortunately- allergic to cats and dogs (howling). I know you can`t cuddle a fish but it`s nice to know there`s something alive in our home :)
Maybe it`s crazy but I think we should name it. Hmmm...
Bob? John? Socrat? LOL
Ok, I have to think about it...

My sis & me decided to travel trough Europe - in August.
We haven`t worked out the route yet, but it`s going to be laid- back back-packing kind of thing with out clear defined plan. It`s very exiting and a bit scary - we`ve never done anything like that. I feel like an adult - I`m going to earn our travel money for next 4 months - working real hard so we can see more of the Europe - Paris, Munich and Vienna on the list so far.

I`m going to draw today! I`m so exited: I have gigantic paper sheets and charcoal sticks, loads of happiness in my pockets and joy in my heart.
draw (drô)
v. drew (dr), drawn (drôn), draw·ing, draws
v.tr.
1.
a. To cause to move after or toward one by applying continuous force; drag: drew the chair closer to the table; a team of horses drawing a wagon. See Synonyms at pull.
b. To cause to move in a given direction or to a given position, as by leading: The teacher drew the children into the room to see the decorations.
c. To move or pull so as to cover or uncover something: draw the curtains.
2. To cause to flow forth: a pump drawing water; a blow that drew blood.
3. To suck or take in (air, for example); inhale.
4. To require (a specified depth of water) for floating: a boat drawing 18 inches.
5. To take or pull out: drew a gun from beneath the counter; drew out a fat wallet.
6.
a. To extract or take for one's own use: draw strength from one's friends.
b. To make (tea) by steeping.
7. To eviscerate; disembowel.
8.
a. To cause to come by attracting; attract: afraid the casino will draw undesirable elements to the town.
b. To select or take in from a given group, type, or region: draw clients from all levels of society.
9. To bring to a certain condition or action; lead: drawn to despair; drew them to resign.
10. To bring about deliberately; provoke: draw enemy fire; draw a penalty on an opponent.
11. To evoke as a response; elicit: a performance that drew jeers from the audience.
12. To earn; gain: deposits that draw interest at a rate of 5 percent.
13.
a. To withdraw (money).
b. To use (a check, for example) when paying.
c. To receive on a regular basis or at a specified time: draw a pension.
14. To take or receive by chance: draw lots.
15. Games
a. To take (cards) from a dealer or central stack.
b. To force (a card) to be played.
16. To end or leave (a contest) tied or undecided.
17. Sports
a. To hit or strike (a billiard ball, for example) so as to give it backspin.
b. To hit (a golf ball) with a draw.
18. To pull back the string of (a bow).
19. To distort the shape of.
20. To stretch taut.
21.
a. To flatten, stretch, or mold (metal) by hammering or die stamping.
b. To shape or elongate (a wire, for example) by pulling through dies.
22.
a. To inscribe (a line or lines) with a pencil or other marking implement.
b. To make a likeness of on a surface, using mostly lines; depict with lines: drew a map of the area; drawing landscapes and still lifes.
c. To portray in writing or speech; depict with words: draws moving scenes of ghetto life.
23. To formulate or devise from evidence or data at hand: draw a comparison.
24. To compose or write out in legal format: draw a deed.
v.intr.
1. To proceed or move steadily: a ship drawing near the shore.
2. To attract customers or spectators: The new play is drawing well.
3. To pour forth liquid: The patient's veins don't draw easily.
4. To cause suppuration.
5. To take in a draft of air: The flue isn't drawing.
6. To steep in or as if in the manner of tea.
7. To pull out a weapon for use.
8. To use or call upon part of a fund or supply: drawing on an account; drew from the experience of fellow workers.
9. To contract or tighten: material that draws when it dries.
10. To conclude a contest without either side winning; tie: The chess players drew in 32 moves.
11. To make a likeness with lines on a surface; sketch.
n.
1.
a. An act of drawing.
b. The result of drawing.
2. Something drawn, especially a lot, card, or cards drawn at random.
3. Sports & Games
a. The arrangement of competitors in a tournament in which the match-ups are made at random.
b. A match-up or opponent in such a tournament.
4. An inhalation, especially through a pipe or other smoking implement.
5. One that attracts interest, customers, or spectators: a singer who is a popular draw.
6. The movable part of a drawbridge.
7. A special advantage; an edge: have the draw on one's enemies.
8. A contest ending without either side winning.
9. A small natural depression that water drains into; a shallow gully.
10. Football A play in which the quarterback drops back as if to pass and then hands off to a running back.
11. Sports A face-off.
12.
a. Games A draw shot.
b. Sports A moderate, usually controlled hook in golf.
Phrasal Verbs:
draw away
To move ahead of competitors.
draw back
To retreat.
draw down
To deplete by consuming or spending: drew down our food reserves.
draw on
To approach: as evening draws on.
draw out
1. To prolong; protract.
2. To induce to speak freely: managed to draw the shy child out.
draw up
1. To compose or write in a set form; write out: draw up a contract; draw up a list.
2. To bring (troops, for example) into order.
3. To bring or come to a halt.
4. To bring (oneself) into an erect posture, often as an expression of dignity or indignation.
5. Chiefly Southern U.S. To shrink when washed. Used of clothes.
Idioms:
draw a blank
To fail to find or remember something.
draw and quarter
1. To execute (a prisoner) by tying each limb to a horse and driving the horses in different directions.
2. To disembowel and dismember after hanging.
3. Informal To punish severely: The teenager was drawn and quartered for wrecking the family's only car.
draw straws
To decide by a lottery with straws of unequal lengths.
draw the line
1. To decide firmly an arbitrary boundary between two things: "Where do you draw the line between your own decisions and those of your superiors?" Robert Marion.
2. To decide firmly the limit of what one will tolerate or participate in: The officer committed fraud but drew the line at blackmail.

Something`s wrong, I don`t feel very well.
I hope tomorrow it`ll be better. As much as I despise these words - I`m depressed - I`m afraid I am.

One year ago I`d have said - dream job? Wake up to harsh reality, forget about dreams and start living your boRRRing dull life - FOREVER. I ended up in a psychiatric hospital. Now, 7 months later, I`m where I want to be, doing what I want to do and with people I want to be with. Of course, there are some circumstances that prevent us from fulfilling our dreamZZZ, no, sorry there isn`t - just remembered about Paralympic games. Joy de vivre is not a specific point in space and time, it`s a process. You define what your life will be like, you are it`s creator, director and a starring actor. What`s the title of your film?

Yuri Gagarin was the first human to go into space on April 12th, 1961
He said:"As I flew around the Earth in the spaceship I realized how beautiful our planet was. People, lets protect and cherish it and not destroy!".

They all so sad in here. Sometimes I think, they might be better straying free, like in Greece? I don`t know really, only these animals in cages are not happy at all. I hope if one plays with them, cuddles or pats on the head - it makes them feel better.
I had my induction and it was really interesting, anyway worth getting up so early on Saturday. I was astounded by the number of people that came - there were about 12 of them. We had a Power Point presentation on Dog Walking - I know it`s weird - huh? there`s a dog, there`s a lead and a collar - walk it, just walk it, damn it! But it turned out it`s really not that straightforward, there`re lots of tricks how to handle dogs, because all of them are from different backgrounds, some were badly treated.
I noticed so many new dogs and cats in the shelter; I think at least 4 of them were abandoned, because partners had split up. I was puzzled to be honest, what sort of reason is that?
Sunny`s getting one tomcat from the centre, or maybe two. She chose grown up animals who no one usually wants, I absolutely admire that.
There`s one cat, female, her owner died. She`s very old too and has lots of silver hairs sprouting in her black fur. She`s weak and has her tail amputated - no one wants her.
They all so sad in here. Sometimes I think, they might be better straying free, like in Greece? I don`t know really, only these animals in cages are not happy at all. I hope if one plays with them, cuddles or pats on the head - it makes them feel better.
Olga

I can feel there`s a breakthrough.
I`m full with ideas, I`m out of my personal tunnel of misery, I think everything`s going to be just fine.
Olga

I`m seeing Sunny on Saturday. Maybe I should wait till Sunday - I`m seeing SUNny on SUNday...
Since I`ve figured out I`m gay, everything is more complicated and easier, scarier and inspiring and wider. Don`t try to google "Am I gay?". No, really, don`t. The only sensible thing I`ve ever read`s by Stephen Fry:
"...none of the following is shameful or deserves apology, in spite of our suicidal attempts to convince ourselves otherwise:
To possess a rectum, a urethra and a bladder and all that pertain thereto.
To cry.
To find anything or anyone of any gender, age or species sexually attractive.
To find anything or anyone of any gender, age or species sexually unattractive.
To insert things in one`s mouth, anus or vagina for the purpose of pleasure.
To masturbate as often as one wishes. Or not.
To swear.
To be filled with sexual desires that involve objects, articles or parts of the body irrelevant to procreation.
To fart.
To be sexually unattractive.
To love.
To ingest legal or illegal drugs.
To smell of oneself and one`s juices.
To pick one`s nose."

Her name`s Sunny, she`s in her late thirties, she`s a beauty, intelligent, larger than life, she`s a queen.
Some people say I just can`t live in peace, I always, no, reeeeaaaallly, ALWAYS (annoyingly) have to create drama in my life. Well, so what? "All the world's a stage And all the men and women merely players". At least I AM A DIRECTOR.

Hi Waldek,
it`s becoming warm, isn`t it?
My flowers`re growing as my hair do - extremely slowly! Anyway I hope the geraniums`re going to be strong, beautiful plants - like Matisse`s ones. When you come to visit me I can give you one as a present. Yesterday I had an interview for a receptionist in a hotel. I had a terrible back pain, so I took 2 painkillers and put up with it. I felt really relaxed during the interview (cos of the medicine - kind of dozing away lol), maybe too relaxed! When I was asked by the charming French front office manager to tell him about myself, I answered in a Greta Garbo low sexy voice - What do you want to know?... which I believe was a bit inappropriate. Today I had a one more interview at Sherlock Holmes Hotel on Baker Street (I think it`s a tad weird, no?). I went there, and I kept on asking myself:"Do you really want to work in a hotel again?" So, honestly, when an HR person asked me, so Olga why do you want to work in a hotel? I had this dreamy look in my eyes which has nothing to do with enthusiasm and drive an employer usually looks for. I really doubt I get this job too.
I think I`m going to change direction - for charity jobs, museums jobs this sort of thing.
What are you up to? Wanna send me some of your recent photographs?
Olga